| Author |
Message |
    
Sheila Schmidt
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
337
Registered: 05-2002
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 20, 2003 - 12:37 pm: |   |
This one is a little long - but got it on email and thought it was too funny not to share!
Sheila
> > > > > > Class Writing Project
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women
> > > > > > are from Venus"? Here's a prime example offered by
> > > > > > an English professor at an American University.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "Today we will experiment with a new form called the
> > > > > > tandem story. The process is simple.
> > > > > > Each person will pair off with the person sitting
> > > > > > to his or her immediate right.
> > > > > > One of you will then write the first paragraph
> > > > > > of a short story. The partner will read the first
> > > > > > paragraph and then add another paragraph to the
> > > > > > story.
> > > > > > The first person will then add a third paragraph,
> > > > > > and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has
> > > > > > been written each time in order to keep the story
> > > > > > coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking and
> > > > > > anything you wish to say must be written on the
> > > > > > paper.
> > > > > > The story is over when both
> > > > > > agree a conclusion has been reached."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > The following was actually turned in by two of my
> > > > > > English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and
> > > > > > Gary (last name deleted).
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > >
> > > > > > STORY:
> > > > > > (first paragraph by Rebecca)
> > > > > > At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
> > > > > > she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite
> > > > > > for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much
> > > > > > of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
> > > > > > liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
> > > > > > costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness
> > > > > > was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much
> > > > > > her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out
> > > > > > of the question.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > -----------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > >
> > > > > > (second paragraph by Gary)
> > > > > > Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
> > > > > > the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more
> > >important
> > > > > >things
> > > > > >to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic
> >bimbo
> > > >named
> > > > > >Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
> >
> > >"A.S.
> > > > > >Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? he said into
> > > > > > his
> > > > > > transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit
> > > > > > established.
> > > > > > No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could
> > > > > > sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of
> > > > > > nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay.
> > > > > > The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out
> > > > > > of his seat and across the cockpit.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > >
> > > > > > (Rebecca)
> > > > > > He bumped his head and died almost immediately but
> > > > > > not before he felt one last pang of regret for
> > > > > > psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings
> >
> > >for
> > > > > >him.
> > > > > >Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards
> >the
> > > > > >peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently
> > > > > >Abolishing
> > > > > >War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning.
> >The
> > > > > >news
> > > > > >simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the
> >window,
> > > > > >dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
> > > > > >carefree,
> > > > > >with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from
> >her
> > > > > >sense of
> > > > > >innocent wonder at all the beautiful things round her. "Why must
> >one
> > > > > >lose
> > > > > >one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ---------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > >
> > > > > > (Gary)
> > > > > > Little did she know, but she had less than 10
> > > > > > seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
> > > > > > Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
> > > > > > lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy
> > > > > > peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
> > > > > > Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
> > > > > > Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien
> > > > > > empires who were determined to destroy the human
> > > > > > race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
> > > > > > the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth,
> > > > > > carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire
> > > > > > planet.
> > > > > > With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
> > > > > > their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered
> > > > > > the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
> > > > > > top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the
> > > > > > ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably
> >massive
> > > > > >explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million
> >other
> > > > > >Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference
> >table.
> > > >"We
> > > > > >can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em
> >out
> > >of
> > > > > >the
> > > > > >sky!"
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > >
> > > > > > (Rebecca)
> > > > > > This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
> >literature.
> > >My
> > > > > >writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate
> >adolescent.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > > (Gary)
> > > > > > Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
> > > > > > whose attempts at writing are the literary
> > > > > > equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall
> >I
> > > >have
> > > > > >some
> > > > > >other sort of F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo
> >who
> > > > > >reads
> > > > > >too many Danielle Steele novels."
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > > (Rebecca)
> > > > > > Asshole.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > ----------------------------------------------------------
> > > > > > (Gary)
> > > > > > Bitch.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > **********************************************
> > > > > > (teacher)
> > > > > > A+ - I really liked this one.
|
Tester (Unregistered Guest)
Work-in-progress guest
Posted From: 204.246.5.17
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 12:15 am: | |
Classic. |
Gloria Marlow
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
470
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 08:52 am: | |
My husband, the hopeless romantic, says these two probably ended up married... |
D.R. Bennett
Hunger Member
Post Number:
53
Registered: 05-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 12:47 pm: | |
I'd like to suggest a new topic to this forum:
Philosphy
Can we do this C.E.?
- D -
http://www.drbennett.2ya.com |
D.R. Bennett
Hunger Member
Post Number:
54
Registered: 05-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 12:49 pm: | |
Oops,
I meant "Philosophy and Gems of Wisdom".
http://www.drbennett.2ya.com |
Bill Nelson
Awareness Member
Post Number:
25
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 12:57 pm: | |
Uh, what kind of tea did the air-head choose?
bn |
Kevin Yarbrough
Awareness Member
Post Number:
7
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 02:37 pm: | |
What kind of tea were the aliens drinking when they bombed Earth?
Kevin |
Joy Lee Rutter
Awareness Member
Post Number:
21
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 03:08 pm: | |
That is absolutely the funniest post I've read today. Loved it! And oh how I needed the humor! Thank you Sheila!
Joy Lee Rutter |
C. E. Winterland
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1401
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 06:41 pm: | |
Hmmmm... a philosophy thread...
NOW you're aiming for me heart, D. R.
How say ye all? A new Philosophy and Gems of Wisdom topic? (C'mon, show of hands! Who wants to get dirty with logic?)
If people didn't simply fall asleep as soon as they saw the word philosophy, that could be an exciting topic, to be sure...
Thoughts anyone?
CEW |
Perry Comer
Unity Member
Post Number:
1231
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 07:49 pm: | |
philosophy religion and gems
I'm game
http://www.pacwriter.netfirms.com/ |
Bill Nelson
Awareness Member
Post Number:
29
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 08:51 am: | |
I think, therefore I am!
Oops. If I think, I already am, so thinking has nothing to do with being!
But, I think it is a fine idea, C.E.
BN |
Sheila Schmidt
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
421
Registered: 05-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 08:54 am: | |
Me too - I'm in! Sounds fun!
Sheila |
Olen Armstrong
Wandering Member
Post Number:
160
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 10:04 am: | |
You KNOW of course that some smart-a$$ folks (who ME??!!?) might have a fine old time with points of philosphy as a source of humor. Or at least attempts at it.
I live by these wise words of a philospher long past:
I yam wut I yam and that's all wut I yam.
Or these wise words:
With the Force there is no TRY. There is DO...or DO NOT. There is no TRY.
Philosophy is where you find it, I guess.
Ok, sorry, back in the hole for me.
Later,
Olen A |
Jennifer Lynn
Unity Member
Post Number:
1136
Registered: 03-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 10:32 am: | |
I love Yoda!! Those words are burned into my brain too, Olen. Gotta love the simplistic approach.
Jennifer Lynn
www.jenniferlynn.ca |
Kevin P. Grover
Unity Member
Post Number:
1107
Registered: 03-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 10:46 am: | |
Hell!
Might as well throw some politics in as well! We've already got enough subjects in here to set off a nuke...might as well go all the way!
Count me in. I love a good debate. As long as people can understand that it's just a debate. I've seen friendships (and families) get really ugly when discussing these subjects.
Believe me, I know. My step-daughter is not only a liberal democrat, but she is as far left as you can go without coming back around and being right! (Please, no jokes. There was no pun intended with that comment)
www.winterwolfpublishing.com |
Trina Green
Awareness Member
Post Number:
7
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 12:09 pm: | |
Two teams of CIA applicants are tested on field operations. Each team consist of a male and female. For the first team the man is given a gun and told that he must kill the woman who is already in a closed room. The first male applicant goes into the room and a few minutes later he comes out crying. "I couldn't do it. I can't kill her."
The second team is called up, this time the man is placed in the room and the woman is given the order to kill him. She goes into the room, a couple of clicks sound out, then a loud banging ensues. The woman exits the room sweating profusely and out of breath. "The gun was empty so I had to beat him to death with a chair." |
D.R. Bennett
Hunger Member
Post Number:
55
Registered: 05-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 25, 2004 - 04:56 pm: | |
C.E.,
Perry, Bill and Sheila seem to be behind us on this.
I'd say the majority vote is in.
Let's do it.
Tea anyone?
http://www.literaryagent.2ya.com
http://www.spirithelp.2ya.com
http://www.drbennett.2ya.com |
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