| Author |
Message |
    
cora morace
Hunger Member
Post Number:
54
Registered: 11-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - 09:54 pm: |   |
Joy Lee Rutter posted on another thread that she has just suffered the loss of her father. I thought it might be nice to have one thread for everyone to add their prayers and thoughts for her at this time.
My prayers are with you and your family, Joy, may God grant you the solace of His love in your time of loss.
CJ |
Jennifer Lynn
Unity Member
Post Number:
1662
Registered: 03-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - 10:01 pm: | |
I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, Joy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours.
Take care,
Jenn
Jennifer Lynn
www.jenniferlynn.ca |
Fred Dungan
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
855
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 01, 2005 - 10:21 pm: | |
I have never felt so old or as inadequate as I did the day my father died. The responsibilities for our extended family now rested squarely on my shoulders and I secretly feared that I was not man enough to live up to them. How could I possibly fill the shoes of my WWII hero father? My father cast an imposing presence. People looked up when he walked into a room. I, on the other hand, was a rapidly graying scrawny scarecrow who hadn't managed to be half as successful in life as the man who generously lent me his last name and treated me like a son despite the fact that we weren't related (I had been adopted). Why couldn't I have been the one who died. Nobody except for my parents would have even noticed I was gone.
I often think of my father. Nowadays, I realize that he loved me for myself rather than what I could or could not do. Fathers are like that. Yours has gone to a better place. Bid him a fond farewell and rest assured that you will someday join him in glory. He isn't gone. You are only seperated for what, in the scheme of things eternal, will prove a short time.
http://www.fdungan.com/sent.htm |
Frederick A. Babb
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
315
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 12:25 am: | |
Joy,
Dear friend I can only send words of sorrow for your lost and pray for you and your family. But no words anyone can say will ever truly be enough.
Sorry for this lost.
A warm hug for a dear lady.
Fred
Preview books: http://www.frederickbabb.bravehost.com |
Dennis Collins
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1387
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 03:58 am: | |
I'm not very good at expressing my condolences in times like these but I know what it's like to lose a parent and my thoughts are with you. |
Laurel Johnson
Unity Member
Post Number:
3707
Registered: 01-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 05:42 am: | |
I'm so sorry, Joy. It's so difficult to lose a parent, regardless of their age and physical condition at the time. I pray you find comfort amidst family and friends.
Laurel Johnson
Author: The Grass Dance
The Alley of Wishes
Color of Laughter, Color of Tears
|
Joyce Scarbrough
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
560
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 06:39 am: | |
Joy, you have my prayers and wishes for comfort as well.
Toyce
True Blue Forever
Read the first chapter at http://www.authorsden.com/joycelscarbrough1
Read two chapters of Different Roads at http://www.authorsden.com/visit/mtr.asp?id=7737&loc=ShortStory
Pour yourself a glass of bubbly and check out Champagne Books http://www.champagnebooks.com
Our children have only one childhood, so do whatever it takes to make it happy! |
Sheryl Nantus
Hunger Member
Post Number:
57
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 07:38 am: | |
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
thoughts and prayers are with you and your family... |
Harry Simenon
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
534
Registered: 10-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 09:07 am: | |
I have lost my father too a few years ago.
It was very comforting to see all those people at the funeral.
I hope that you will find some support in these posts Joy. |
Harry Simenon
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
535
Registered: 10-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 09:09 am: | |
Fred,
I appreciated your words about your father. We have adopted a daughter, and I can only hope to be such a father to her as your father has been to you.
Or my father has been to me, for that matter. |
Gloria Marlow
Unity Member
Post Number:
1371
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 01:20 pm: | |
Joy, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Gloria
The Butterfly Game
Flowers for Megan
Shades of Silence (coming soon)
|
Kathy Bosworth
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
407
Registered: 03-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 05:34 pm: | |
Joy,
I'm very sorry about the loss of your father. I too know what it feels like to lose a parent.
I hope in time the good memories outweigh the sorrow.
Kathy |
Joy Lee Rutter
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
517
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 07:29 pm: | |
Wow, I so appreciate all of your kind words. I didn't expect this when I logged on tonight. Thank you so much. Gosh, I'm in tears.
About memories, I have a zillion of them. My dad was a real hoot, and had a silly sense of humor, like an overgrown kid. We loved that about him. I think we had the only dad on the block that watched cartoons well after we'd outgrown them. His favorite was the Roadrunner.
I could go on and on, but it's hard right now...
Thank you again, all of you!
Joy {{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs to you all!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Joy
http://behlerpublications.com/titles-rutter.asp |
Diana Hignutt
Wandering Member
Post Number:
293
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 03:03 am: | |
Joy, I'm sorry I didn't see this until today. My deepest condolences to you and your family.
Diana |
Nancy Marie
Unity Member
Post Number:
1935
Registered: 08-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 12:51 pm: | |
I am also late finding this thread, but my prayers are with you and your family.
Kitty |
Joy Lee Rutter
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
519
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 03:26 pm: | |
Thank you Diana and Kitty. I know everyone has lost a loved one at one time or another. I'm a strong person, emotionally and I keep myself busy. When I stop to think about it, I remember all the good stuff and then I remember that my dad put in a lot of good years (79 to be exact) and that his life was not fraught with pain and hard times. He had an amazing mother and father, and his family never lacked love and affection. He was the oldest child, and he had 4 sisters who worshiped him. 3 of his sisters are still alive. When we were growing up, I was always amazed at how silly my dad and his sisters all acted. Not only did they all look 30 years younger than they actually were, they acted like kids. Now, in my 50's, I have found that my sister and brothers have inherited that odd trait of never growing up.  <<<< notice the emoticon I seem most drawn to?
Anyways you guys, thank you so much for your condolensces (and I can never get that word spelled right).
Hugs to you all,
Joy
Joy
http://behlerpublications.com/titles-rutter.asp |
Mary Erickson
Wandering Member
Post Number:
141
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 05:29 pm: | |
It's Condolesa. No, wait. That's the new Secretary of State. Anyhow, sounds like you have a bunch of good memories and a wonderful support group in your family. Also in your family here. Hang in there, Joy. We're thinking of you.
Mary
www.merickson.org
www.behlerpublications.com |
LaurieAnne
Unity Member
Post Number:
1784
Registered: 12-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 06:07 pm: | |
Joy,
My prayers are with you and your family, girl. (I'm not very good at knowing what to say, either, so I hope you'll accept my prayers.)
LA
OPEN SUBMISSIONS: Random Acts of Kindness
Available now:
THE BUTTERFLY GAME, Gloria Davidson Marlow ISBN 0-9722385-4-9 |
Joy Lee Rutter
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
520
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 08:31 pm: | |
"It's Condolesa. No, wait. That's the new Secretary of State." Mary, you're a hoot. I read your book and I can tell you've got a great sense of humor. I will be doing that review "thang" as soon as my life settles down. But I do have to say this: Mary's book "My Life Under Cover" is great. I enjoyed it front to back and since I polished it off during my trip to and from Kentucky to see my dad, (at a time when I needed a little humor to balance me out), your book was perfect. Your style reminds me of Erma Bombeck or Mary Roach. It flowed very well, it was humorous and well written. Mary, keep up the good work! 
Laurie when you wrote, "I'm not very good at knowing what to say..." I could identify because I'm the same way. Truthfully, there's not much anyone can say in these circumstances. It's sad, but life continues and that's the hard part because you feel almost guilty that you have to muddle through normal everyday stuff like grocery shopping and closing on a new house. Things will go back to normal and I'll always really awesome memories.
Joy
Joy
http://behlerpublications.com/titles-rutter.asp |
Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1878
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 03, 2005 - 09:44 pm: | |
Joy,
for what it's worth, and I know this is a hard time for you, I have been going through my own sort of hell for the last two weeks, having lost two of my very best friends within these last two weeks. One was a girl that I grew up with and h ave known since we were 9 and 10 years old, me, 9 and she 10. She was the absolute closest person to me in the whole world, even though we have been very far apart for a few years, we were almost like sisters for a very long time and her life and mine paralleled each others in many ways. Ruthie was a year older than I, and we were always at each others houses growing up. She died of Intestinal Cancer after a year of fighting it. She was only 61. A very profound part of my life was with or surrounding her and our closeness, I will always think of her and miss her.
The other woman, a very dear person to me died this last Saturday of a massive heart attack and no one even knew or had any inkling it was coming. She and I and our respective husbands used to play cards a few nights a week, when we were both married, and I had the cable company that kept me in town most of the time. She worked at the local Real Estate office that shared space with the Water Company where I worked while we, my husband and I were setting up the Cable TV system, so we got to know each other very well over the years. She was older, and had a mostly good life and was not in pain of any sort, but I will miss her dearly.
It is really sad, and you stated it best when you said that our everyday lives have to go on, and things have to get done, and time doesn't let us dwell on these people that we have loved and lost very long, but do and be, we must and someday we will find each of those lost and departed souls that we spent that precious time longing that they were back in our lives, for. I sure do hope, anyway....... Her name was Gerrie
I just wanted to share that even though my losses were friends, not family, you are not alone in feeling pain this last few weeks. I have been going through my own share, also.
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
|
Nancy Marie
Unity Member
Post Number:
1937
Registered: 08-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 04, 2005 - 07:47 am: | |
Claudia - loosing friends is very hard, and I feel for you. I lost a close friend some years ago to an anuerism (sp?) It was sudden and unexpected, she was only in her early 50's. I still miss her.
my prayers are with you, Kitty |
Joy Lee Rutter
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
521
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 04, 2005 - 06:21 pm: | |
Claudia and Kitty, no matter if it's family or a dear friend, the loss is just as painful. The person is no longer available and you can't share laughs and tears and whatever, anymore. Long as we have our memories, they can pull us through.
Joy
Joy
http://behlerpublications.com/titles-rutter.asp |
Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1882
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 04, 2005 - 09:28 pm: | |
Joy,
the thing that makes it so very painful for me is that I lost both of my parents and much of my extended family before I was 23 years old, so these two women and a few other people in my life have become as close as whatever was possible or would have been if they indeed, had been real family. Years and time will heal all heartaches, I guess, but I doubt that I will ever have that kind of closeness with anyone else at this stage and beyond in my life, ever again. There is a history and raising each other and helping with all the things that took place and guiding each other through things that will never happen again, because I am older now, and tend to need less from people anymore.
That is why I will miss those two ladies more than some others in my past. Just the knowing that they were there to seek out if the need arose, was part of the being that speical brand of friend. Mostly, for me, it comes from not having parents at a very early age, because I broke the rules with those two women and invited them into my life and heart, which ususally doesn't happen all that often. And I feel very lonely tonight, as Gerrie's funeral is tomorrow afternoon. And she is gone. And Ruthie is gone. And now there are only two other people that know me in my core/heart. Sure, I have friends, but none that knew/know me inside out like those two did.
Life goes on, and we persevere through all the pain and heartache and are supposed to become better for it, but I sometimes wonder the why of it.....
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
|
Joy Lee Rutter
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
522
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 09:10 am: | |
Claudia, I'm really sorry about your loss and you're right. We do persevere through pain and heartache. As far as the "why of it"? I'm the wrong one to answer that. I know that I am a better person because of my dad. My mom, God rest her soul, could be a bit critical and at times overbearing. My dad had a way of balancing that out with his sweetness and humor. In his own way, he made me more self-confident.
In time, Claudia, you will get through it all. After the funeral, do something for yourself...something special. You're friend would have wanted that, no doubt.
Joy
Joy
http://behlerpublications.com/titles-rutter.asp |
Mary Erickson
Wandering Member
Post Number:
144
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 09:53 am: | |
Claudia. My heart aches for you. We don't get to be privie to why so many things in this life happen, losing parents at an early age, losing good friends, and even losing children. I lost my oldest son when he was 35. For many years I was an agnostic, but I needed to find answers to some of the above questions and finally found a church that helps me cope with life's sorrows better. I don't want to get all preachy here, since that's not what this church is about. But one of their favorite sayings is "We're all spirts in human bodies. We must work through whatever is challenging us in this life and then we can move on and be with those loves ones again.
Mary
www.merickson.org
www.behlerpublications.com |
Diana Hignutt
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
303
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 06, 2005 - 06:15 am: | |
Claudia,
I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your friends.
Diana |
Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1888
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 06, 2005 - 07:20 am: | |
It has just been a realy tough few weeks, but now they both are safe and no longer coping with the struggle. I feel better today. Thanks for all of your voices and spirits that were sent to me in this very sad time. These last ones I felt a lot closer to home than most others I have lost of late, not to minimize the others, but these two ladies were just a whole lot closer to me throughout my life.
Joy, I certainly didn't mean to hijack your thread with my needs, for that I am sorry.
One interesting thing the priest said at Gerrie's service yesterday, was that on average, we all as a nation of peoples, attend a funeral service about every 17 years. I think I have attended about 10 in the last 8 years. Maybe that means that I should choose younger friends, ya think?
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
|
Todd Hunter
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2206
Registered: 02-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 06, 2005 - 07:28 am: | |
I went almost 13 years between services...
Of course, 13 years ago, I had to go to two services in about two days' time...
Mindsight Moderator
Check out Who Needs a Hero?
|
Olen Armstrong
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
303
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 06, 2005 - 09:43 am: | |
Joy,
All blessings to you in your time of sadness.
This happens more often as we baby-boomers age. We lose people.
I tell myself each time that my tears of sorrow are just a reflection of God's tears of joy. One of His children has come back home to stay.
Eventually my sorrow always passes, but I know His joy is eternal.
It still hurts though.
Good luck to ya'.
Olen A. |
Joy Lee Rutter
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
523
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 06, 2005 - 08:34 pm: | |
"Joy, I certainly didn't mean to hijack your thread with my needs, for that I am sorry." Claudia, not a problem. This thread is about loss and your posts remind me that I'm certainly not alone. I have plenty of company. It doesn't ease the pain of loss, but it brings us closer together.
Olen, you said: "This happens more often as we baby-boomers age. We lose people." I'm starting to notice that. I just turned 52 in December and when I see my sister, brothers and aunts, cousins, etc, the first thing I notice is loss of hair, drooping body parts and wrinkles everywhere. And then I am reminded of that mortality thing we're all afflicted with. I cannot imagine life without the people I grew up with. And I choose not to. I'll enjoy the remaining years and keep in close contact with them. And these days, it's not difficult to do, no matter where they live.
Joy
Joy
http://behlerpublications.com/titles-rutter.asp |
Olen Armstrong
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
304
Registered: 06-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 07, 2005 - 06:59 pm: | |
Joy,
it's probably a good thing to admit our own mortality. I had an adventure 8 years ago with cancer and chemo, and came to terms with it all back then.
I've since noticed that most Americans go thru life with blinders on. Most are absolutely CERTAIN that they're going to live and be vigorous forever, if not downright ssexxy!! And if not there'll be a pill to take, and if THAT doesn't work, then BY GOD WE'LL SUE!! What a silly way for grownups to live.
Knowing that I WILL die, and will meet the great unknown mystery, has changed my entire outlook. Dealing with losing my family members has only strengthened that outlook.
I feel for your loss. Good luck to ya'.
Olen A |
Closed: New threads not accepted on this page