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Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
661
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2003 - 11:14 pm: |   |
Some of you may have already seen these, but I just received them and thought that they are too good not to pass around:
When Computers Sometimes Crash
by: Dr. Seuss
(Read this to yourself aloud!!!)
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If our cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall. And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy on floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions is causing unnecessary risk, then you'll have to flash the memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM, and quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your MOM.
Well, that certainly clears things up for me.
How about you??
And:
THIS SHOULD END ALL 3 BEARS STORIES
Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, he looks into his small bowl. It is empty. "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl, and it is also empty. "Who's been eating my Porridge?" he roars.
Momma Bear had got up first. it was Momma Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Momma Bear who made the coffee. It was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night, and put everything away. It was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper. It was Momma Bear who set the damn table. It was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litter box, and filled the cat's water and food dish, and now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs, and grace Momma Bear's kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good, cause I'm only going to say this one more time:
"I HAVEN'T MADE THE DAMN PORRIDGE YET! |
LaurieAnne
Unity Member
Post Number:
1050
Registered: 12-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 13, 2003 - 08:32 pm: | |
AWESOME, Claudia. Got a great laugh from that last one. The first one, too, but especially the last one.
LaurieAnne
http://www.authorsinkbooks.com |
Fred Dungan
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
349
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 13, 2003 - 09:42 pm: | |
Porridge again? Feed it to the cat. How about making us some bacon and eggs for a change? |
Fred Dungan
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
360
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 16, 2003 - 09:40 pm: | |
My cousin sent me this one:
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
http://www.fdungan.com
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Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
698
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 09:28 am: | |
More Monday Funnies:
This just arrived at my computer and I thought that since it is related to the way we write, I would pass it along to y'all........
<< My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady, always quite
delicate and elegant, especially in her language. She
and her husband were planning a week's vacation in
Arizona; so she wrote to a travel trailer court and asked
for a reservation.
She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped,
but didn't quite know how to ask about the "toilet"
facilities. She just couldn't bring herself to write the
word "toilet" in her letter. After much deliberation, she
finally came up with the old-fashioned term "bathroom
commode". So, she started all over again and referred to
the bathroom commode merely as the B.C. "Does the camp-
ground have its own B.C."? is what she actually wrote.
Well, the court manager, Herman, wasn't old-fashioned
at all and when he got the letter, he just couldn't figure
out what the woman was talking about. That B.C. business
really had him stumped.
After worrying about it for awhile, he showed the letter
to several campers, but they couldn't imagine what the
lady meant either. So, he finally came to the conclusion
that the lady must be asking about the location of the
Baptist Church. He sat down and wrote the following
reply:
Dear Madam:
I regret the delay in answering your letter, but now take
pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located 9 miles
north of the campground and is capable of seating 250 people
at one time. I admit, it is quite a distance away if you
are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt you will
be pleased to know that a great number of people take their
lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive
early and stay late.
The last time my wife and I went was 6 years ago and it was
so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there.
It may interest you to know that right now there is a supper
planned to raise money to buy more seats. They are going
to hold it in the basement of the B.C. I would like to say
it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly,
but it is surely no lack of desire on my part. As we grow
older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in
cold weather.
If you decide to come down to our campground, perhaps I
could go with you the first time you go, sit with you, and
introduce you to all the other folks.
Remember, this is a friendly community.>>
(talk about miscommunication in/through written words,)
Claudia
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C. E. Winterland
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1221
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 05:27 pm: | |
All good stuff 
So if in your PCI is a card through which you dial, and your phone line was added by your grandparents for a smile, then likely when you come here your connection's really slow, and often for some reason you just really have to go. But don't interrupt the activity of the host, cuz if you hit your back button you'll likely double-post.
heh... heh... heh...
CEW |
Fred Dungan
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
401
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 11:59 pm: | |
Being disabled, I have come to hate moving slowly. Slow is a waste of time. Life was meant to be lived in the fast lane and here I am dawdling along as if I have all day to get where I am going. I guess I had better shut up. People come to this thread expecting to read the Monday Funnies - the last thing they want to hear about is my bum knee.
http://www.fdungan.com |
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