| Author |
Message |
    
Sheila Schmidt
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
368
Registered: 05-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 06, 2004 - 02:44 pm: |   |
I just love this one! Enjoy!
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with
us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by your tax dollars, and when I
say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it: the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say
we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, The
chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't this interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a
serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
its right to do it.
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to
cross before you believe it?
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and
Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
hahahaha! |
Jennifer Lynn
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
957
Registered: 03-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 06, 2004 - 04:40 pm: | |
LMAO.. Thank you Sheila. You have no idea how much I needed to laugh today.
Jenn |
Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
779
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 06, 2004 - 06:15 pm: | |
And every word of it is true, I swear it by the god that put the bible in my hand.......
Claudia |
LaurieAnne
Unity Member
Post Number:
1151
Registered: 12-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 06, 2004 - 09:22 pm: | |
That is fantastically funny, girl. And I ditto what Jenn said....perfect timing.
LA
LaurieAnne
|
Fred Dungan
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
474
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 06, 2004 - 11:57 pm: | |
Chicken? Are you sure it wasn't a duck? I could have sworn it waddled. Look at the muck - it must be a duck! |
C. E. Winterland
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1311
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 07, 2004 - 07:03 am: | |
Hmmm... funny stuff, but what about the logical chicken...
In order for the chicken to cross the road, it first must logically cross half of the distance, yes?
In order for the chicken to get halfway across the road, it must first get half of that distance...
Logically, to move at all, the chicken must first move half of any distance hypothesized, leading us to conclude that as there would therefore be an infinite number of halves, the chicken actually could not cross the road at all, as it can't actually move.
... and there is the reason why many philosophers have mental breakdowns at an early age... they are utterly immobilized by useless mental excercises 
CEW |
Laurel Johnson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2519
Registered: 01-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 07, 2004 - 07:49 am: | |
har har har. Loved it. Esp. the Jerry Falwell one. |
Dennis Collins
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
449
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 07, 2004 - 08:56 am: | |
Baghdad bob says there was no road... No chicken either |
Steven Shrewsbury
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
467
Registered: 04-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 07, 2004 - 06:43 pm: | |
Heh, that was a good one... |
Fred Dungan
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
486
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004 - 10:24 pm: | |
Probably too chicken to come anywhere near the road.
http://www.fdungan.com/ |
Kevin Yarbrough
Awareness Member
Post Number:
4
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2004 - 03:18 pm: | |
Williem Meiners
The chicken crossed the road because we offered him a contract on his mss. Now if it causes problems we will kick it off the MB and boot his butt back across the road though. |
Bill Nelson
Awareness Member
Post Number:
23
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2004 - 04:48 pm: | |
Sheila,
I din't know you were a psy. major. Funny.
You forgot John Kerry.
Yes, I'm in favor of road crossings by chickens but no, I really wouldn't vote for a chicken who crossed a road.
Bill Clinton,
I absolutely did not cross the road with that chicken!
BN |
Kevin Yarbrough
Awareness Member
Post Number:
5
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 22, 2004 - 07:14 am: | |
The chicken crossed the road to bring me some oxycontin.
Rush Limbaugh |
mark dirschel
Hunger Member
Post Number:
81
Registered: 01-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 24, 2004 - 09:00 pm: | |
i agree. that was an excellent joke.
and in other news - sheila's new pic is... well, awesome.
- mark |
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