Journalism at It's Finest

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Author Message   Bill Nelson Unity Member Post Number: 1671 Registered: 10-2002 Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) Posted on Friday, January 27, 2006 - 11:48 am:    Journalism at its finest! These are actual headlines pulled from various newspapers. These are probably from the same editors who keep sending us "not for us" love-letters. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter [Imagine that!] Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says [No, really?] Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers [Now that's taking things a bit far!] Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus? [Not if I wipe thoroughly!] Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over [What a guy!] Miners Refuse to Work after Death [No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!] Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant [See if that works any better than a fair trial!] War Dims Hope for Peace [I can see where it might have that effect!] If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile [You think?] Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures [Who would have thought!] (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide [They may be on to something!] Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges [You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?] Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge [he probably IS the battery charge!] New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group [Weren't they fat enough?!] Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft [That's what he gets for eating those beans!] Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?] Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half [Chainsaw Massacre all over again!] Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors [Boy, are they tall!] And the winner is.... Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds of bodies found floating. (duh...) Bill Nelson RISEN, ISBN 1-93301616-4 Behler Publications Hiding Places, Den of Deception   Bill Nelson Unity Member Post Number: 1687 Registered: 10-2002 Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) Posted on Monday, January 30, 2006 - 03:24 pm:    For all you who disagree with my every word!!!!!! Bill Nelson RISEN, ISBN 1-93301616-4 Behler Publications Hiding Places, Den of Deception