| Author |
Message |
    
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
1728
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 10:39 am: |   |
I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m.
I'm very good at opening childproof caps... with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over...
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not nearly as cute as mine.
I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care.
I'm not really grouchy,
I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, lawyers, loud music, unruly kids, Jenny Craig and Toyota commercials, barking dogs, politicians and a few other things I can't seem to remember right now.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like...like...
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days, and when did they let kids become policemen?
I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?
And, how can my kids be older than I feel sometimes?
I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door. |
Kevin Yarbrough
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
655
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 12:05 pm: | |
"I'm a walking storeroom of facts..... I've just lost the key to the storeroom door."
Just as long as you don't lose the key to the bathroom door you will be all right.
"I'm wondering, if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150?"
Viagra.
"I'm having trouble remembering simple words like...like..."
Bathing.
"I'm so cared for --- long term care, eye care, private care, dental care."
Bowel care.
"I'm very good at telling stories; over and over and over and over..."
Write them down and send it to PA. They accepted Purple, they will accept those as well.
" I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a thing you're saying."
Buy an ear trimmer or use your weed whacker.
"I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up."
Some parts of your body maybe. Mornin' wood is no longer there.
"I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going."
Cause you forgot to take your medicine.
"I'm the life of the party...... even if it lasts until 8 p.m."
Cause you fell asleep and those young whipersnappers are drawing fake mustaches on you and coloring in your bald spots.
Kevin- Literary Pseudocriminal |
Sheila Schmidt
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
746
Registered: 05-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 12:51 pm: | |
That Purple Pony fiasco is still one of the funniest things I have heard of yet! It's a cockle-warmer, it is!  |
Tom Elkins
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
350
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 06:30 pm: | |
My grandson asked me what it's like being old. I told him I feel just like a young guy with something terribly wrong with his body.
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Fred Dungan
Unity Member
Post Number:
1421
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 09:35 pm: | |
Old is when you are stuck in a wheelchair and you let your assistance dog talk you into taking him on a ocean liner cruise to some exotic place where dogs run wild in the streets and the females aren't neutered.
http://www.fdungan.com/vigilantes.htm
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