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Message |
    
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
1748
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 10, 2006 - 12:15 pm: |   |
Besides JT, of course!
> 1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
> The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
> chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
>
> 2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... People ask, when they learn
> that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and
> what bait was used to catch 'em.
>
> 3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... When the pastor says, "I'd
> like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women
> stand up.
>
> 4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... Opening day of deer season
> is recognized as an official church holiday.
>
> 5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... A member of the church
> requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never
> been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
>
> 6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The choir is known as the
> "OK Chorale".
>
> 7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... In a congregation of 500
> members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
>
> 8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... People think "rapture" is
> what you get when you lift something too heavy.
>
> 9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The baptismal pool is a #2
> galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
>
> 10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The choir robes were
> donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
>
> 11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The collection plates are
> really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
>
> 12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... Instead of a bell you are
> called to service by a duck call.
>
> 13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The minister and his wife
> drive matching pickup trucks.
>
> 14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The communion wine is
> Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".
>
> 15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if... "Thou shall not covet"
> applies to huntin' dogs, too.
>
> 16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ... The final words of the
> benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".
>
> God Bless and don't fergit ta say yer prayers!
>
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Joyce Scarbrough
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
794
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 10, 2006 - 03:43 pm: | |
All I want to know is which one has the Boone's Farm Tickle Pink? I thought they quit making it when I stopped drinking! I'll be there this weekend wearing my Sunday-go-to-meetin' clothes!
Toyce
~Joyce Sterling Scarbrough
True Blue Forever
ISBN 0-9722385-9-X
Second edition now available from Authors Ink Books
http://www.authorsinkbooks.com
Coming soon . . .
Different Roads
For first loves that get lost, hearts that call to each other, and the roads that lead us to the ones for whom we are meant.
Read the first chapter at http://www.authorsden.com/joycelscarbrough1
Pour yourself a glass of bubbly and check out Champagne Books http://www.champagnebooks.com |
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