    
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2506
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, December 29, 2006 - 01:29 pm: |   |
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said,
4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to
his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service, "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed
trash against us."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,
"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three
times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º
Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people
on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.
? º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?
A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand
on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"
A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and
the actor would drop from view.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the
actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging
on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled:
"Hallelujah! Hell is full!"
?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o
This is the best one.
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime
story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to
touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then
his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed,
"God's getting better at it, isn't he ?"
Work Hard,
Do Your Best,
Keep Your Word,
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches,
Trust In God,
and Never Forget a Friend |
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