| Author |
Message |
    
Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2996
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 20, 2007 - 08:38 pm: |   |
SEX FROGS
A lovely and very sexy blonde goes into her local pet shop in search of an
exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs.
The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions."
The blonde excitedly looks around to see if anybody is watching her. She
whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the
instructions."
The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way. As soon as she
closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them
very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:
1. Put some nice satin sheets on your bed.
2. Take a nice warm bubble bath.
3. Splash on some nice perfume.
4. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
5. Light a pair of candles by the bed.
6. Put on a CD with some very soft classical music playing quietly in the
background.
7. Slip into bed and place the frog beside you. The frog will do what he has
been trained to do.
She quickly gets into bed with the frog, and to her surprise, nothing
happens.
The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She rereads
the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you
have any problems or questions, please call the pet store and speak to the
man that sold the frog to you."
So the blonde calls the pet shop. The man says, "I'll be right over."
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in
and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The darn
frog just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares into its eyes and
says very sternly, "Look, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more
time....."
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
|
Joyce Scarbrough
Unity Member
Post Number:
1023
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 03:50 pm: | |
Cute, Claudia!
~Joyce Sterling Scarbrough
True Blue Forever
ISBN 0-9722385-9-X
Different Roads
ISBN 0-9722385-3-0
Authors Ink Books
http://www.authorsinkbooks.com
Read the first chapters: http://www.authorsden.com/joycelscarbrough1
Waste time on Joyce's Blog: http://joycescarbrough.blogspot.com
Watch the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kztz5e3XZeo
Senior Editor
Champagne Books
http://www.champagnebooks.com |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2573
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 05:08 pm: | |
Duh...show the frog how to do what? |
Tom Elkins
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
655
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 21, 2007 - 05:51 pm: | |
I posted one and it got bumped. I think...
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Dennis Collins
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2259
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 10, 2007 - 09:46 am: | |
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006 when...
1.You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2.You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.
4.You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5.Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6.You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even
have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
Panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward
this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9
on this list.
AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!
Dennis Collins
Moderator
www.theunrealmccoy.com
http://theunrealmccoy.blogspot.com |
Tom Elkins
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
678
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 10, 2007 - 10:26 am: | |
What I noticed was the heading: NOW YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2006. Did I miss something in there? Or did you?
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2622
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 10, 2007 - 12:42 pm: | |
They're at least a year behind in Michigan, Tom.
Hey, Dennis,
I've got to be in your fair city (Detroit) in June.
Maybe we can get together and lie to each other over a beer.
You're buying. |
Dennis Collins
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2261
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 06:35 am: | |
Sure Bill
What will you be riding?
Dennis Collins
Moderator
www.theunrealmccoy.com
http://theunrealmccoy.blogspot.com |
Kevin R. Paglia
Wandering Member
Post Number:
259
Registered: 07-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 08:32 am: | |
My wife will be close, She's going to Chicago in April for a University conferance there to lecture on tax issues they face. She's going to take a day to see the city. In june she will be in NY city with a couple girl friends after a conference in DC.
Kevin |
Tom Elkins
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
681
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 10:21 am: | |
I'll be in Chicago in May, completely at liberty. My son from Maui will be attending a convention there, and I'm flying up just to hang out with him...and to see if I can find some foie gras.
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2624
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 11:19 am: | |
"Sure Bill
What will you be riding?"
It won't be a Harley!
 |
Dennis Collins
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2263
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 11, 2007 - 06:32 pm: | |
At least nobody will bother stealing it.
Dennis Collins
Moderator
www.theunrealmccoy.com
http://theunrealmccoy.blogspot.com |
Tom Elkins
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
685
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 12, 2007 - 08:02 am: | |
Like any good Texan, Bill will be riding his horse. In fact, he starts tomorrow. He'll need a place to "park" it in Detroit.
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Closed: New threads not accepted on this page