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Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
1931
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 25, 2005 - 11:05 pm: |   |
Many reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was
time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple
nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which
aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig
is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write
but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth
beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, ! 2 meese? If you have a bunch of
odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a
vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck
and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise
man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which
your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by
filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects
the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at
all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the
lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
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cora morace
Hunger Member
Post Number:
74
Registered: 11-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 26, 2005 - 03:11 am: | |
I think you may have discovered the solution to the immigration problem Claudia, we just need to be sure everyone thinking of coming here understands this....should be a sure deterrant.
CJ |
D.R. Bennett
Wandering Member
Post Number:
193
Registered: 05-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 28, 2005 - 09:33 pm: | |
Good points made here Claudia.
The English language is like a metaphysical sacred text, in my opinion.
http://www.drbennett.2ya.com
http://www.drbennett.2ya.com |
D.R. Bennett
Wandering Member
Post Number:
199
Registered: 05-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 04, 2005 - 03:06 pm: | |
It's no wonder why people from other countries always ask me,
"What's wrong with you? No speak Enlace?"
http://www.drbennett.2ya.com
~ D.R. Bennett - The "Mystic" Writer |
Fred Dungan
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
901
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 12:57 am: | |
How hard could English be to master? Telemundo, the Spanish channel, offers tapes for $39.95 that are guaranteed to have the rudest chollo speaking English like a native in just 30 days. If Arnold could learn to speak perfect English with only the slightest trace of an accent, anyone can.
Dream Team for 2008: Arnold S. for President, Colin Powell for V.P.
http://www.fdungan.com/vigilantes.htm |
Mary Erickson
Wandering Member
Post Number:
166
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 07, 2005 - 07:46 am: | |
Claudia. This is great. Makes one wonder about the wonder of the English language.
Mary
www.merickson.org
www.behlerpublications.com |
D.R. Bennett
Wandering Member
Post Number:
209
Registered: 05-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 18, 2005 - 04:41 pm: | |
Sometimes,
I feel the illusion of loneliness as an English writer.
I know I'm not really alone, but it feels like no one understands me.
The worst thing that could happen, I guess, is to be totally understood.
I am surely blessed.~
http://www.literaryagent.2ya.com
~ D.R. Bennett - The "Mystic" Writer |
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