     Nancy Marie | Sunday, April 14, 2002 - 09:05 am 
Hi all, working on sending out Buttercups for the first time. Like to get some feedback on this query. Really unsure about this, never wrote a non-fiction book before, so dunno how to write the query. Thanks in advance
Buttercups For Jesus: Reflecting His light in Your Life, is not so much the tale of a spiritual journey as it is the story of a spiritual quest. It is a quest for a closer relationship with our Lord, which in turn, leads to a more shining reflection of His light in your life and the lives of others.
Throughout Buttercups For Jesus: Reflecting His light in Your Life, the buttercup is used in an allegorical manner, comparing the way it reflects the light in the sunshine to the way Jesus’ light reflects in those who walk closely with Him. Written with brutal honesty, Buttercups For Jesus: Reflecting His light in Your Life uses personal anecdotes to show the reader, rather than tell the reader, how to avoid the pitfalls of life which will diminish the light of Jesus in their lives.
For example, in the chapter titled, "The Dirty Word," an example is used of how the smallest sacrifice we make for others is a way to let the light of Jesus shine through, and how the word "sacrifice’ has become a dirty word in our society. In the chapter titled, "People Are More Important," I share how my hetic schedule completely blocked the light of Jesus in my life, and made me forget how important God considers people to be, so important that He sent His Son to die for them.
Buttercups for Jesus: Reflecting His Light in Your Life was written with 18 years of professional writing experience in many areas including newspaper journalism, adult fiction, inspirational poetry, children’s literature, and magazine feature articles. In addition, I am a polished and professional public speaker, and have recently proved my marketing and promotional skills with the release of my first novel, When You Wish Upon A Star. It was released from AmErica House Publishers in January, 2002 and continues to sell well. Also, the literary reviews of When You Wish Upon A Star have been excellent. Melanie Duncan, the Christian fiction columnist for the Library Journal, in the April 1 issue, said, "Marie makes an exciting debut on the Christian fiction scene…should appeal to fans of Dee Henderson's and Terri Blackstock's." And the Midwest Book Review in the April 2 edition said, ", "When You Wish Upon A Star by novelist Nancy Marie is the intense and suspenseful story of a battered wife who must learn new was of understanding her husband and the world about her if she and her daughters are to live. Edgy, gripping, and filled with emotional poignancy and harsh choices, When You Wish Upon A Star is one of those reads that simply cannot be put down until the last page is finished."
Buttercups for Jesus: Reflecting His Light in Your Life has been read and reviewed for Biblical accuracy by theologians across the nation, and is complete and ready for submission. A synopsis, chapter out-line, and author’s bio are also available for your review and consideration.
I look forward to hearing from you in the near future and the possibility of working with your organization.
Yours in Christ Jesus,
Nancy Marie
(smiles and blessings, Kitty) |
| sophie | Sunday, April 14, 2002 - 11:54 am
Nancy:
I'm not a theology expert, so I'll confine my efforts to a bit of editorializing. Typos you may have already picked up on:
HECTIC schedule
new WAYS of understanding
OUTLINE (no hyphen)
BIOGRAPHY (don't abbreviate)
General observations:
1) Title: I remember a discussion about the title of this book. I'm thinking it's too long. How about "Buttercups: Reflecting the Light of Jesus"? The buttercup analogy you can maybe go into in the body of your book (buttercups reflecting beneath one's face, etc.).
2) "When You Wish": You perhaps spend too much space on your novel. Although it enhances your credentials as a writer, you are submitting a non-fiction book. Therefore, I would say something like, "I have successfully sold a Christian novel, (title), which has received excellent reviews for its writing and inspirational content."
3) Stress any religious motivational public speaking, volunteer work or teaching. This implies you're a goodly person in the public reach and could promote your work.
I only read your query once and quickly as an editor would, and these are my humble impressions. Good luck and God bless,
Sophie |
| Jan Fields | Sunday, April 14, 2002 - 01:16 pm
Nancy,
I am on the fly and just glanced at this -- I hope to get back to it. But if not, one thing -- you do not have to repeat the whole name of your book every instance you reference it. Since Buttercups for Jesus is the title and the rest is subtitle, you can references it by the title alone after the first mention.
Well, gotta run.
Jan |
| Nancy Marie | Sunday, April 14, 2002 - 06:07 pm
Good points all, Jan, wasn't sure about the name thing, felt like it was redundant but wasn't sure of proper protocol in that area.
UGH!! I hate writing query letters.
smiles and blessings, Kitty |
| Gloria Marlow | Wednesday, May 08, 2002 - 05:58 am
Nancy,
Is this a query for an agent or a publisher? Are they basically the same?
Do I need to mention my first book when querying a publisher?
Aaggh! A whole new set of problems I know nothing about!!!
Gloria |
| laurelj | Wednesday, May 08, 2002 - 07:42 am
Your query letter sounds fine to me. I don't write very good queries, as is evidenced by rejections haha.
I agree with what the others advised. Otherwise, it seems OK to me.
Laurelj |
| Nancy Marie | Wednesday, May 08, 2002 - 02:49 pm
Hi,
The query is for publishing companies, and I can't remember fer shure but I think queries for agents are basically the same as for publishing companies. But, you'd better get someone else's opinion on this as I am totally burnt from studying algebra for the past 5 hours. ARGH!!
(this is so stupid, I still don't understand why I have to have algebra to get a degree in religious studies! and don't tell me it's to make me more well-rounded, I am round enough as it is, thank you very much!)
smiles and blessings, Kitty |
| Barbara Kelsch | Friday, May 17, 2002 - 12:47 am
Dear Nancy:
Hope you don't mind another critique. I love to write queries! I love to write anything! Know that I am a committed Christian and am in agreement with you, but perhaps a few suggestions would be helpful.
First off, you are writing to corporate publishing America, not to believers and some of your terminology will not go over very well. I suggest:
"Butter Cups For Jesus" Reflecting His Light in Your Life" is the story of a spiritual quest for a closer relationship with Jesus Christ as I have lived
it. I use the "buttercup" as allegory for the reflection of sunlight on the
small flower, and the reflection of the light of Jesus on the lives of believers.
"Buttersup" is a copilation of personal anecdotes designed to draw the reader in and to guide themn through the pitfalls of life that would otherwise threaten mature spitirual growth.
The chapter titled "The Dirth Word," is an observation of how people struggle with the word, and practice of "sacrifice," in our pluralistic society. "People Are More Important," is a chapter that illustrates day to day hectic living and the challange it can present to the spiritual walk.
(Next paragraph abridged) "Buttercups For Jesus was written with eighteen years ....etc........etc.....etc..........and continues to seel well, acquiring excellent reviews. For example, Melanie Duncan, fiction columnist for the Library Journal, April 1, 2002 ---"Marie makes an exciting debut on the Christian fiction scene ..." (Mention your last book but don't detail it. Give them only enough to want to read it. Concentrate on the book you are trying to sell.)
Last paragraph is good, but do not end with "Yours in Christ Jesus." Remember, you are writing to publishers, not believers. The Lord does not want you to end up in file thirteen and you haved a good chance of that happening if you witness too strongly in a query.
Hope I have not offened you by tearing at your letter. I'm really very nice and want to be helpful.
God Bless,
Barbara K. |
| righterpenny | Friday, May 17, 2002 - 05:15 am
Nancy,
I'd like to help too. One thing I noticed. You're starting out your query with the verb "to be" used twice in the first sentence. I took a course once on getting published, and they told us that the first sentence is like all important.
You're supposed to try to grab their attention in the first line, with action if possible, and avoid the verb "to be".
Thanks for reading my post and good luck! Hope I helped!
Penny |
| Nancy Marie | Friday, May 17, 2002 - 06:26 am
Thank you Barbara and Penny. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it. Barbara your suggestions are right on target and so are yours Penny. THANKS AGAIN.
smiles and blessings, Kitty |
