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argile stox
Hunger Member
Post Number:
63
Registered: 12-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 18, 2006 - 01:34 pm: |   |
Well, I have written an article, the link appears below, regarding my de-fragmented mind. Please read the article and, if you can spare some time - please offer some suggestions. As an update, I have written a paragraph or two; however, I am unable to fully engage my mind to be creative. Thanks, Argile Stox
http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/06feb/article173.html
Computer-End Program
ISBN 1-4137-2496-5 / PublishAmerica
http://www.useless-knowledge.com/columnists/argilestox/
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Nancy Mehl
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2355
Registered: 08-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 18, 2006 - 10:36 pm: | |
Argile,
The only thing I can say is that you can't give PA that much power. Allowing them to get you down like this gives them too much control over your life - and your dreams.
I know it sounds easy to say this, but I was published by PA, too. I know the temptation to let the experience define me as a writer - but I had to make a decision. Our ability to decide is one of our greatest gifts as human beings. You can decide to go on. You can put PA behind you and move forward. You can also decide to rewrite your story. My bet is that it will be better than the first one.
I recently signed my first contract with a large publisher. It's a whole different world, Argile. It feels good.
But if I'd allowed PA to decide my future, I would never have made it this far. It's not as far as I want to go, but it surely is a start.
Seems to me that you've battled through some tough times and come out on top. My money is on you to do it again.
Nancy
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
www.nancymehlbooks.com
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Gloria Marlow
Unity Member
Post Number:
1684
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 09:55 am: | |
ARgile,
I've written this response and I have to say after re-reading it, I don't know if it makes any sense at all, but here it is and maybe you can get something useful out of it or at least make some sense of it.
You ask that anyone who has felt this way to write you with advice on how to overcome it. Well, I have no advice.
In the last few years, I have come to discover that the problem goes deeper than PA. I submitted to PA. I was accepted by PA. I was released by PA. I haven't written several more books and had them published by AIB and I continue to write. Still, there is that doubt that I can do this. Every word I write is plagued by that doubt.
At first, I wanted to say it was because of PA --- because they didn't really read what I wrote, because being published by them didn't really validate my talent. Like you, I've had the good reviews. I've had a few strangers tell me how much they enjoyed the books I've written, but it didn't help. I still fight the delete key over every word I write.
But in truth, I've always been this way. I've always been plagued by an inferiority complex that is unbelievable. I mean, my husband asked me to marry him and I said "Are you serious?"-- not because he was a jokester, but because I couldn't believe someone really wanted me. (And I was cute then.)
Yes, my experience with PA added fuel to the fire of self-doubt. I think folks are basically nice and will tell you what you want to hear. So, I figured they just told me they enjoyed the book because they were trying to be nice. I had all sorts of reasons they would say they liked the book and all sorts of reasons they didn't really like it.
It takes a confidence that is completely contrary to my nature to submit a book to a publisher, agent, etc. The funny thing is that when I finished my first book I had a confidence I have rarely felt in my life. Who knows why. I keep thinking eventually I'll write something else that will make me feel that confident, but so far I haven't.
I think writing that second book requires more of us. By the time Flowers for Megan came out with PA, I had already learned sooo much about writing that I looked at it and saw all these mistakes and all the things I did wrong. It was overwhelming and caused me a lot of worry and concern. It was definitely fuel to the fire.
I think therein lies a lot of the "funk" I find myself in. I went completely against my own nature and said "I'm good at this!" I put all the lectures I'd ever heard on "pride and vanity" aside and went for it. That it didn't pay off was suddenly just proof that I should have remained humble and quiet in the privacy of my own home. Or so my mixed up brain told me afteward.
To come out of my writer's funk I had to realize that my own thought processes were more of a problem than my former relationship with PA was.
I still find myself in a funk frequently, but they are all my own. PA has nothing to do with them.
Gloria Davidson Marlow
**The Butterfly Game***Shades of Silence***Flowers for Megan**
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Todd Hunter
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
3100
Registered: 02-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 01:05 pm: | |
I don't think there's anything I can really add to what Gloria already said. It's identical to my own situation.
Mindsight Moderator
Check out the musings over at Aston's new blog
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Tom Elkins
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
364
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 01:34 pm: | |
OK, I'll stick my oar in the water. Unlike Gloria and Todd, I'm confident in my ability as a writer. I may be kidding myself, but I don't think so. I made a pretty good living at it for over 40 years. I won some national awards. I wrote free-lance articles for a slick magazine for as much as $1,000 a pop. I submitted North of Texas to PA knowing nothing about the company. It was accepted, of course. Big deal, I was soon to learn. I'm pretty sure no editor ever read it. I am disappointed in the lack of follow-up. But I still think NOT (an unfortunate acronym) is a pretty good book, and I still think I'm a better writer than some who sell hundreds of thousands of books.
Having said that, I will not obsess over PA. Signing with them was something I did under no coercion. That's water under the bridge. Or over the bridge. Whatever the cliche. PA cannot make me worth less as a writer. Would I like to be released from my contract? Sure. Is it worth devoting all of my time, energy and money to accomplish? Life's too short.
Press on, Argile. (You too, Gloria and Todd.)
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Gloria Marlow
Unity Member
Post Number:
1686
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 02:53 pm: | |
****I haven't written several more books and had them published by AIB and I continue to write.***
Yes, I did write several more books and have them published by AIB. I don't know why that says I haven't. I just finished my fourth book and sent it to AIB.
Gloria Davidson Marlow
**The Butterfly Game***Shades of Silence***Flowers for Megan**
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Joyce Scarbrough
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
811
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 05:47 pm: | |
Well, I'm like Tom. The only problem I have with self-esteem is having too much. I know my books are better than a lot of the ones published by the big houses. If not, AIB wouldn't be publishing them now. As far as PA goes, I only think about all the good people I've met through them, including most of the people here and my very best friend and writing partner, Lee Ann Ward.
Argile, you met Tracy through PA, didn't you? Thank them for that and forget about anything else to do with them. They don't define you; only you can do that.
Gloria and Todd, I don't tell people they can write if they can't, and I'm not exactly clueless when it comes to writing ability. I love your books, and that's the truth.
Toyce
~Joyce Sterling Scarbrough
True Blue Forever
ISBN 0-9722385-9-X
Second edition now available from Authors Ink Books
http://www.authorsinkbooks.com
Coming soon . . .
Different Roads
For first loves that get lost, hearts that call to each other, and the roads that lead us to the ones for whom we are meant.
Read the first chapter at http://www.authorsden.com/joycelscarbrough1
Pour yourself a glass of bubbly and check out Champagne Books http://www.champagnebooks.com |
Todd Hunter
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
3104
Registered: 02-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 07:23 pm: | |
There's a big difference between writing ability and having a publishable book...
Mindsight Moderator
Check out the musings over at Aston's new blog
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Nancy Mehl
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2357
Registered: 08-2001
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 08:10 pm: | |
Joyce made a good point.
Odd as it sounds, even though PA wasn't good for my writing career, I will never be sorry for getting involved with them. Because of them, I now have some friends who are very dear to me. THAT is much more important to me than the negative parts of my PA experience.
Nancy
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
www.nancymehlbooks.com
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Gloria Marlow
Unity Member
Post Number:
1687
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 09:30 pm: | |
I didn't even know any writers prior to PA. I definitely count that as a huge plus on the side of the experience!
Gloria Davidson Marlow
**The Butterfly Game***Shades of Silence***Flowers for Megan**
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Joyce Scarbrough
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
812
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 19, 2006 - 10:00 pm: | |
>There's a big difference between writing ability and having a publishable book...<
Yep, the difference is a good editor. Know any???? 
Toyce
~Joyce Sterling Scarbrough
True Blue Forever
ISBN 0-9722385-9-X
Second edition now available from Authors Ink Books
http://www.authorsinkbooks.com
Coming soon . . .
Different Roads
For first loves that get lost, hearts that call to each other, and the roads that lead us to the ones for whom we are meant.
Read the first chapter at http://www.authorsden.com/joycelscarbrough1
Pour yourself a glass of bubbly and check out Champagne Books http://www.champagnebooks.com |
Todd Hunter
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
3108
Registered: 02-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 20, 2006 - 05:31 pm: | |
"I didn't even know any writers prior to PA."
I did...and in fact, that was how I found PA...
oops.
Mindsight Moderator
Check out the musings over at Aston's new blog
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Fred Dungan
Unity Member
Post Number:
1453
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 20, 2006 - 09:57 pm: | |
I came to Publish America on the rebound immediately following 9/11 when the New York publishers panicked and weaseled out of their contracts with political writers. Release dates were delayed or canceled, warehouses full of books were padlocked, and, in some cases, the political books they had already printed were destroyed. Michael Moore was told to revise Stupid White Men. He refused and threatened to sue. It created so much publicity that his book eventually became a bestseller. I wish I had gone that route.
http://www.fdungan.com/bushwhacked.htm |
Gloria Marlow
Unity Member
Post Number:
1689
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 21, 2006 - 06:44 pm: | |
I found out about PA from an author whose mother was a patient at the doctor's office where my sister worked. I was debating where to send my ms and Angie and this woman were talking and she sent me the name of her publisher.
As far as I've come as a writer and as much as my personality has opened up since that day, I can hardly be sad that I took her advice and contacted PA.
Gloria Davidson Marlow
**The Butterfly Game***Shades of Silence***Flowers for Megan**
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Tom Elkins
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
368
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 06:43 am: | |
I heard about PA from my ex-wife who told me she heard about them when she was working for Harte-Hanks 30 years ago (???). She assured me they were a reputable company. Is that grounds for divorce?
Tom Elkins
NORTH of TEXAS
www.authorsden.com/tomelkins |
Kevin Yarbrough
Wisdom Member
Post Number:
656
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 09:07 am: | |
"She assured me they were a reputable company. Is that grounds for divorce?"
People have divorced for a lot less, Tom. I don't know if it is grounds for a divorce but maybe a good flogging is in order.
Arile, I answered you over at AW when you asked this question and it's tough. Somedays are better for me than others. I still have those days where I read what I write and I just say to myself 'Who am I kidding, I'm no good. Why do I even try?' Then other days I read what I put down and love it. It's weird.
PA was a part of that but my self-esteem is also a factor. Am I good enough to do this? Is this what I was made to do? All I can do is keep trying and hoping that I was and that this is my calling in life.
Am I any good? I don't know. I thought my PA book wasn't that bad and some people liked it but I am, and always will be, my own worst critic.
You'll get past this, you are to good not to.
Kevin- Literary Pseudocriminal |
Pacwriter
Unity Member
Post Number:
2257
Registered: 04-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 09:21 am: | |
I got to PA via a search for agents - she should have told me she worked for them!
The REAL downside of that was time wasted. Oh, I was working on other projects while in the process of being published but the revisions and the waiting for covers etc. took away from other things I could have been doing with my life. Then the wasted time trying to promote a book myself. Then there is the MONEY issue, what I spent. Paying a professional photographer for the B&W for the back cover wasn't cheap. Mailings to reviewers etc. - My wife would divorce me if she knew what I spent on books and all associated expenses of that PA rip-off.
Yeah, the real killer was the time wasted - I mean after PA, who wanted to write? It took months to get the desire back and even then there were a lot of "this stinks" and the project trashed.
http://www.perrycomer.com
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Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2521
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 10:07 am: | |
PA first started life as Erica House and started in business about 11-15 years ago, IF I remember my timelines of researching (way back when I was on the hunt for info to help me get released) this information correctly, which I may be off by a few years, plus or minus. Erica House was named after Willems' wife, Erica. About the time I started (late 98-early 99) writing my book was when they changed over to AmErica House Publishers, which later (2000) became PublishAmerica. When the company was Erica House, they were a pay as you go, vanity type publishing house which charged rather outrageous fees for their service, (or that is what I have heard) and they were mainly a house that was related to and striving to put Christian, Literary type, or Biblical, strong conviction, message type writers out to the public by way of their small printing business. Willem was one of the first clients with his own book, Those Who Win are Those Who Think They Can, and it was one of their better-selling mainstays, does anyone wonder why, possibly because it got some help in the publicity dept......
My first, initial contact was with AmErica House first but by the time I was signed and my first papers were sent in for the publishing of my book it was PublsihAmerica that I sent everything to and received everything back from. I was snet there by a person who purported herself to be an Agent for Writers named Karen Carr, (she had/has a book published by AmEricaHouse/PA at the time, who started up and ran a small Agency called Finesse Literary Agency. Last I heard she was still in business, and she sends a lot of her clients directly to PA, does not stop at GO, doesn't send to any other reputable houses, just collects the authors' money (reading fees? or however she clothes the term now) and sends directly to PA. Has a working relationship with PA, and Meiners. I have a letter in my possession stating that Meiners was very happy to do business with her over the past years and to continue to send him good works, signed by Meiners himself. Sent to someone else inadvertently by Carr herself, and then sent to me by the person who received it by mistake.
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
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Harry Simenon
Unity Member
Post Number:
1001
Registered: 10-2003
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 22, 2006 - 02:01 pm: | |
PA was third on my list just by coincidence. I didn't ceck them as I had no idea how they could frame people as they didn't ask money. Obviously I was wrong.
The whole experiance did annoy me, but did not hurt me too much. I rarely think of PA these days.
Without PA I would never have found mindsight, and I would not have learned as much about writing.
I think I write well enough to be published by now, but still can learn alot.
I simply enjoy writing, published or not. But published would be nicer.
I abandoned writing in English though. I chose English to be able to reach more people, but I now realize that I lack the emotional connection to English. And that is what writing is all about.
So I rewrote 'The Rain' into Dutch and shortened it, and are now trying to get that published.
I am also rewriting my novel into Dutch, but that will take a while. I changed from English into Dutch halfway my second novel. I suppose I will have to do something about the first part, as it will be hard to sell this way.
Anyway: Argile, piss on PA, and write. You have stories to tell, so get to it! |
Fred Dungan
Unity Member
Post Number:
1461
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, February 24, 2006 - 08:22 pm: | |
Harry makes an excellent point. I would definitely like to translate my work into other languages so as to reach the largest possible audience.
http://www.fdungan.com/vigilantes.htm |
Sean D. Schaffer
Awareness Member
Post Number:
45
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 11:32 am: | |
Argile,
Like someone else pointed out, don't give PA that much power over you. I have been observing PA now for several months, and I have found something interesting to their way of doing things.
They want to be in control over their authors.
Have you ever noticed that PA's contract talks about the rights of the Publisher, but not all that much about the rights of the Author? This, I believe, is because PA wants the Author to feel hopeless and out of control when it comes to their own work. The people who have been recently released, I have noticed, have this one thing in common: they refuse to let PA control them.
In the same way, Argile, don't let them control you. To control you is exactly what PublishAmerica wants. They want you to feel helpless, and they want you to feel like you have no control.
So please, don't give in to their controlling tactics. They want you to hurt, and I think they get some amount of pleasure from watching their authors squirm. Don't let them do this to you. If you do let them take control over you, then everything you've fought for will come to nought with them.
I hope this post helps you out, Argile, and I look forward to talking to you later.
 |
Baxter Hall (Unregistered Guest)
Work-in-progress guest
Posted From: adsl-69-153-226-80.dsl.ltrkar.swbell.net
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 08:51 pm: | |
Argile:
Your malaise has absolutely nothing to do with Publish America. You have had a heart attack and stent implacement. I've known a few heart patients in my time. My dad died of a heart attack, and I've got an aortic valve now 80% blocked and facing open-heart surgery and valve replacement.
Heart patients normally incur depression and I would be willing to bet that a talk with your cardiologist will confirm that you have mild to severe depression, which may be controlled with medication. I certainly recommend that you consult with your cardiologist. There is no one on this board that is going to help you by suggesting that it is something other than your health that has put you into a blue funk. |
Sean D. Schaffer
Awareness Member
Post Number:
46
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 25, 2006 - 09:08 pm: | |
"Heart patients normally incur depression...."
Maybe you should talk to your doctor, Argile. Find out if this is the issue. If you have to, get a second opinion. It might help you out.
I might point out, however, that Baxter's assertion, "Your malaise has absolutely nothing to do with Publish America" should not be taken at face value. Baxter might mean well in his statement, but to say that PA has absolutely nothing to do with your problem, without doing a thorough examination, would be a bit presumptuous even on a doctor's part. Real professionals do not make diagnoses just by casual observation.
If you are suffering from mild to severe depression, be sure to seek further help. Like Baxter said, there are meds that can help you deal with depression. They don't cure depression, but they should help.
I wish you all the best, Argile. |
Laurel Johnson
Unity Member
Post Number:
4219
Registered: 01-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 26, 2006 - 12:32 pm: | |
OK, Argile, the old lady is weighing in. I just returned from a trip yesterday so many have already made excellent points. I send a cheer Baxter's way for bringing up your heart attack. Not only is a cardiac event a major impact on your physical and mental functioning.....if you are taking cardiac medications, they also impact how you feel. Look up the side effects. Almost all of them can cause depression.
Anyone who wrote a book with as much passion and power as your PA published book need not concern themselves with doubt. An agent sent my first book to PA. I knew nothing about publishing or agents then, but learned as time passed.
I am neither insecure nor confident regarding my abilities. My writing is what it is -- me transformed into words. No one and nothing can change that. Whether I am published by PA or Knopf, famous or unknown, my work is me. My PA-published book continues to sell and gather a small smattering of interest among readers. So be it. One writer I know asked to rewrite his book and PA said yes. When I asked if I could revise mine, they did not answer me. So be it. They are not in charge of my agenda so I'll shelve that project and start another.
Please check on the side effects of your medication and talk to your cardiologist. Then take charge of your writing life if that is what you want to do. All four of my books were written from the nooks and crannies of my jumbled mind.
Laurel
My Name is Esther Clara
======================================
http://laureljohnsonblogs.blogspot.com
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poker casino774 (Unregistered Guest)
Work-in-progress guest
Posted From: 202.107.242.18
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 06, 2006 - 07:07 pm: | |
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