| Author |
Message |
    
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2104
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 02:29 pm: |   |
I have a little short story, "The Counterfeit Cook", by bison, posted at:
http://www.short-fiction.co.uk
Please read and rate at the end. I will appreciate it.
Thank you. |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2105
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, June 19, 2006 - 03:08 pm: | |
PS.
I'm actually going to post five more:
An Eagle Down
For the Love of Eleanor
Girl of My Dreams
The Lamp
The Woods
If you would take a few minutes and read these (ther are short)and, rate them--comments will be appreciated--I'm thank you very much.
 |
Frederick A. Babb
Hsympothai Member
Post Number:
440
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 03:23 am: | |
Bill,
In this sentence, there is a common mistake...
"She drug her friends, Lois and Cathy into Jason’s deli to see the hunk who toiled behind the counter."
Drug is often used as the past tense of drag, as in the following example:
Example: I drug myself out of bed this morning.
The past tense of drag is actually dragged, not drug. This error is particularly common in speech. Even Bill Clinton once made this blunder on national television, returning to bad habits he developed as a youth growing up in Arkansas.
Remember that the word drug should never be associated with any kind of pulling action. It should only be used when referring to some type of medicinal substance.
Apart from the grammer lesson (I had an editor point it out to me twice so I am just as guilty...lol) I liked the story and sent you the feedback. Good luck on it!
Preview books: http://www.frederickbabb.bravehost.com |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2108
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 09:57 am: | |
I didn't know that. Thanks, Fred. And, thanks for the comments on-line. The site forwards them via e-mail. |
Claudia Turner VanLydegraf
Mindsight Moderator
Post Number:
2776
Registered: 06-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 10:16 am: | |
Bill, I also wrote you a feedback. There were some typo errors in the story, you should go back and read it with fresh eyes.... ax-murdered(r), Know(n) you, brought the tr(a)y with their order, She fixed her (eyes)gave on the wall, stroked the head of her bid(g) irish setter, she had the bid(g) red dog, letting Buster have a bit or(f)room, New York Times business section.... Chuck Tanner(Winslow) and a few others, so go through and re-read it. It didn;t take away from the story or the captivation with what every girl wants in a man or relationship or the dream that we all have, so I think that the story was wonderful, it just needs a bit of fine tuning.
loved it!!!!!
Claudia
MINDSIGHT MODERATOR
|
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2109
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, June 20, 2006 - 10:54 am: | |
Claudia,
You are right and thanks. I went back and checked. I posted the wrong draft! |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2121
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, June 21, 2006 - 04:17 pm: | |
The rest are posted if you all want to rush right over and read them.
I uploaded them all off my little flash drive, the first drafts!!!!!!!!!
Be kind! |
Bill Nelson
Unity Member
Post Number:
2152
Registered: 10-2002
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, June 27, 2006 - 12:35 pm: | |
Wow........................
I'm overwhelmed! Thank you all so much for the feedback on the stories.
Numerous people have e-mailed and offered advice and it is well taken. That is the exact purpose of posting them.
Thank you for taking your time and showing your interest.
I truly appreciate it.
 |
Closed: New threads not accepted on this page